Day #92

Last night I was feeling a bit grumpy by the time I was ready to go to sleep. I was really tired yet restless at the same time. That combination makes me a bit edgy. A bit cranky too. I told my husband and son I was going to get a shower, then head to bed. I told them they'd have to be quiet because I was planning on sleeping in the living room to give them some space in case I snored again with my cold. I kind of barked that last bit about being quiet. Like I said, I was grumpy.

When I got out of the shower, I found my bed in the living room all nicely made, the lights turned down dim, and two warm smiles greeted me. Sandra Dodd has a whole page dedicated to thoughts on service. I'll link it in the comments. I haven't read the whole thing, but I've read a bit here and a bit there, taking away new parts to think about every time I perused. Last night, as I looked across the room at the thoughtfully made bed, I thought of the concept of service. After I climbed into my bed, with the covers pulled up high, I reflected on how sweet it felt to me to be so unconditionally served, even (and maybe especially) when I had not been very sweet myself. I thought about how easy it would have been for both Doug and Ethan to be grumpy back at me. But they weren't. They chose not to. They chose to make my life a little easier. A little nicer. To let me know they loved and cared about me a whole lot.

It's not new to me to give to another this way, but it was new for me to receive the service of another so openly and so humbly. I could tell my sincere appreciation of their gesture, though not expressed with many words or gushy sentiment (that's just not me), felt really good to both of them. I think I'm feeling a bit raw right now, so that probably contributed to my openness. There have been some very sad events in my periphery, and my life is in a state of change, and has been for some time, which can be a bit disorienting for me. Still, it seems all things lined up just right for me last night to experience something new and simply profound. There is a goodness in people that can be expressed most honestly and most completely when we are open to receive it. And, service given without strings has got to be one of the most beautiful gifts we can give.