Day #66

“The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet


This caught my attention yesterday. I've never read anything by Mr Rilke, so I'm not familiar with the source. But the words stood out for me because it was in the gap between where Doug and I stood familiar that I came to know what love meant from my heart.

Though we started out as friends, over the years together we've become much closer. Yet never so close that we weren't able to see each other from toe to crown, standing against the backdrop of each our own ambitions, experiences and beliefs. That takes a great deal of confidence, and I've needed to learn how to cultivate that confidence. Confidence in myself to have the strength to stand alone—solid and self-aware sometimes, vulnerable and unsure other times. Confidence that the distance needed to give room for each of us to be wholly ourselves can and would make room to cultivate a deeper, more meaningful connection, leading to the fullest realization of a love that is understanding, kind, and unconditionally generous.

So, today's ‪#‎100HappyDays‬ is without an accompanying photo. It celebrates the space that exists between two people who really love each other—Doug and me—and in that space "the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky."