Day #79

I read Sandra Dodd's "Just Add Light and Stir" nearly every morning shortly after I wake up. I find inspiration from it every time I do so. Today there was a fun reflection on my experience watching tv as a kid. I was surprised and happy to see it there.

Day #78

Balloons!

Day #77

As I was heading out the door to get some groceries, Ethan called out "Have fun!" So I did.

Day #76

I found this bag in Maine a year or two ago, and carry it with me everywhere I go. I like the feet and the face best, and I like how it feels like I'm cuddling something when I sit down. I even like that strange people come up to me to talk about it when I'm out and about.

It has gotten kind of soiled, but I'm afraid to wash it. I don't want it to fall apart or change in any significant way. It won't last forever. The back is already worn. I wish I could tell the person(s) who made it how much happiness it brings me. I hope they already suspect this might be true.

Day #75

These are our designs for the stained glass class we're taking. I decided to do something simpler (left) considering I don't have many weeks here before we move. I showed my design to Ethan the other evening and he said "Cool! Two fibonacci!" I laughed.

Yes! I did draw inspiration from two rotated fibonacci spirals. The fact he saw that right away made me happy. Not because he knows what it is, but because we learned about fibonacci at the same time--me in my thirties, him a young boy--in part by buying fruit and vegetables from the grocery store that we thought looked interesting, in part by counting petals on flowers, in part by finding and counting spirals on the pinecones we used as trees in our wood block villages, in part by simply wondering and searching and allowing ourselves to be in awe...together.

If this stained glass piece works out, I will long cherish it for its reminder that the time Ethan and I spend together has a meaningful influence on both of our experiences. Even as the memories fade, and I know a lot of them will, and even as we branch off to pursue each our own interests, I will find comfort in the idea that if I could trace those ghostly branches back, there would be a good chance that they might converge on a very special time in both our lives.

Day #74

Forty five today, and gifted a hydroelectric love generating machine. Who could ask for more?!

Day #73

Picking up Doug from the airport!

Day #72

Ethan just got himself a new game called Plague Inc Evolved. The goal of the game is to develop a plague that wipes out humanity. Ethan came bounding into the kitchen laughing like crazy. He said "Come see what I named my plague!" We walked over to his computer. "Something." I looked at him a little blankly, I think, not sure what he was finding so humourous. He said "At the end of the game it'll say 'Something (his plague name) has wiped out humanity.'" And then he giggled at his joke. Now he's laughing saying "Something has not been noticed." Funny kid. (And, for anyone worried about the premise of the game, I would encourage you to play it before you come to any conclusions.)

Day #71

Sometimes it's just as simple as finding things that go together that weren't meant to be together.

Day #70

Rocks. I love rocks. In the corner of Doug's office here at home, evidence of my love of rocks hangs.

The one on the right is something I made out of the rusty shale rocks Ethan and I pulled out of the earth at Taughannock Falls. We thought we found treasure in those rocks. The red was so beautiful against the deep grey.

The photo on the top left is from a cairn Ethan and I stumbled across in Upper Buttermilk. Ethan carefully placed that small stone on the top left with his little four-year-old fingers.

The photo on the bottom left is a snowman's stone heart. I almost always give snowmen hearts when I build them. It's the last thing I do, and it always makes smile.

While here in Ithaca I've collected rocks, photographed them, painted them to leave as secret gifts to people in my community, made things out of them, skipped them, broke them apart to find treasures inside, drilled through them to take their heat for our house in the winter and their cool in the summer, placed them as stepping stones and stood in quiet awe of their strength, their diversity and their beauty. Rocks.

Day #69

My neighbours brought over this pie for us. We're going to eat it now! (I posted that on Facebook on 3/14/15 at exactly 9:26 pm. Couldn't quite manage the 53 second accuracy.)

Day #68

Simply sweet creations, inspired by simply sweet things.

Day #67

The sun's still in the sky, and it's nearly 7pm.

Day #66

“The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet


This caught my attention yesterday. I've never read anything by Mr Rilke, so I'm not familiar with the source. But the words stood out for me because it was in the gap between where Doug and I stood familiar that I came to know what love meant from my heart.

Though we started out as friends, over the years together we've become much closer. Yet never so close that we weren't able to see each other from toe to crown, standing against the backdrop of each our own ambitions, experiences and beliefs. That takes a great deal of confidence, and I've needed to learn how to cultivate that confidence. Confidence in myself to have the strength to stand alone—solid and self-aware sometimes, vulnerable and unsure other times. Confidence that the distance needed to give room for each of us to be wholly ourselves can and would make room to cultivate a deeper, more meaningful connection, leading to the fullest realization of a love that is understanding, kind, and unconditionally generous.

So, today's ‪#‎100HappyDays‬ is without an accompanying photo. It celebrates the space that exists between two people who really love each other—Doug and me—and in that space "the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky."

Day #65

Sometimes Fluff comes up and cuddles me, stretching his paw up onto my chest. I love that. When he purrs it reminds me of the Crakers in Margaret Atwood's "MaddAddam."

Day #64

Making a completely impractical pouring vessel. Enjoying the sun coming in through the windows. Spending the day with Ethan.

Day #63

It's still snowy outside, though warmer today, but inside the forsythia has bloomed.

Day #62

We both had our first experience cutting glass in preparation for making a couple stained glass windows. I've cut glass for picture framing before, but not like this. Ethan cut himself four times, but he kept trying, and now he has a plan in his mind for what he's going to make. Two arrows--one up, one down, with a blue or purple background. I'm not sure what I want make. I'm thinking an owl. It's fun working with my son.

Day #61

I started collecting children's books again. I gave away forty or fifty to a dad here in Ithaca who later sent me a sweet photo of his two daughters enjoying them, all spread out like some great ripe crop of goodness to feast on. These ones have a bit of a darker side to them, and some of them are by authors whose adult fiction writing I've enjoyed, like Aldous Huxley and Sylvia Plath. One is by Mark Twain. I've never (I don't recall) read anything by him yet. It's probably not wise to be collecting books to move, but I've never accused myself of being wise, and Ethan and I are enjoying them, so...what's another box?!

Day #60

I really like a good set of nail clippers, and I love having short nails. I like the simple genius of the design of clippers, the way the lever spins and works, attaches and unattaches, and I like the sound and feel of clipping nails.

Day #59

I love having the hand writing of people I care about. I found this recipe card given to me by a friend when we were visiting her parents in Chilliwack, BC many years ago. The card was in a drawer. I was saving the writing, not so much the recipe, though the cake was good, I remember. I might make it this weekend. Having that writing is like having a visit. I've saved every letter I've ever received, and sometimes I just pull them out to look at those thoughtful marks that were put on paper, intended just for me.

Day #57

Ethan often asks to comb my hair, and has since he was small. I love it.

Day #56

I twirl these rings on my finger every day, and have done so for nearly fourteen years. Everytime I do, I think of Doug.

Day #55

He's an old cat, but he's still curious.

Day #54

Trying some acrylic paints(and pencil...maybe some collage later too) on a ceramic piece instead of glazes. I like the effect. I've been entertaining the idea of making this lady a queen in a large quirky people chess set. Also wondering if polymer clay would work better than ceramic clay for that kind of project. Although I like the weight and sound of this one. I want the pawns to be cats and dogs, one set for either side. Making myself chuckle just at the idea.

Day #53

Staying warm near the fire today. The house was creaking and cracking last night with the cold. Ice in the gutters was contracting. Doug and I stood outside, looking at the house some time after 3 am wondering if it was the roof, but it wasn't, thankfully. It was -28°C without the wind. We're getting quite the Winter send off this year. Can't really say I'm happy about it, but I'm impressed. Quiet day of reflection today. Again, not really happy, but grateful nonetheless.

Day #52

When I moved to the US, I wasn't sure what I needed to keep for tax purposes, so I kept everything bill-related in multiple accordion folders. Every year I kept a little less as I learned what I needed, but I still had about ten fat folders of miscellaneous paper. So, now that we're moving, I'm going back and shredding all that I don't need to keep. I was thinking I might make some handmade paper art from it all. We'll see. That would of course mean I'll still be moving it--just in a different form. At any rate, I find the shredding satisfying.

Day #51

Having this dude by my side every day.